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Leadership: Principle 4 – Die By Your Own Sword
In Work as in Life, I Live by Four Simple Principles.
These principles keep me on course and facilitate every business and social interaction I have. This last principle in the series is explained below.
Principle 4: Die By Your Own Sword
Fight for your ideas. If you are committed to your idea after diligent work and research, pursue it. Your banker/business associate/supervisor may have spent an hour listening to your presentation. And you have spent three months working on it. If you’re right and you give in or give up, you’ll regret it forever. Whether you do it their way or yours, or give up the idea, you are held responsible anyway – so what have you got to lose? You’ll have more conviction and understanding following through on what you have spent months developing than on the quick detour that your banker/business associate/supervisor just threw in.
Explain your position, incorporate the aspects of other people’s ideas which are sound and proceed from there. If the project was to fail, wouldn’t you rather get in trouble for something you did than for something someone else suggested you do?
To live by these guidelines requires integrity, courage and collaboration. It’s how I run my business and it’s how I run my life. It works.
If you missed my preview posts, get caught up here:
Principle 1: Tell the Truth
Principle 2: Make Partners
Principle 3: Make Big Mistakes
Add comment June 29, 2009
Leadership: Principle 3 – Make Big Mistakes
In Work as in Life, I Live by Four Simple Principles.
These principles keep me on course and facilitate every business and social interaction I have. This week’s principle is below.
Principle 3: Make Big Mistakes
Small mistakes are the thoughtless things we all do when we’re not paying attention. They are a waste of time and resources, and are neither instructive nor constructive.
On the other hand, big, planned, highly organized mistakes are valuable. They usually turn out to be productive in the end. Big mistakes are sometimes the result when you take calculated risks. Making big mistakes is the occasional byproduct of making big strides.
Big mistakes can only occur when you’ve planned and thought things through. You would have prepared contingencies in case your current strategy doesn’t work. If your carefully laid plan turns out to be a mistake, it may cost you. But it will also give you exactly the information you need to modify your strategy or change your course. You learn, you adjust, and you come back with a stronger, more impactful approach that works. In the long run, big mistakes are the best feedback we ever get. The most successful people in life are those who make the best use of their mistakes.
If you missed my preview posts, get caught up here:
Principle 1: Tell the Truth
Principle 2: Make Partners
Marilyn Tam, Guest Blogger
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4 comments June 26, 2009
Leadership: Principle 2 – Partner Up
In Work as in Life, I Live by Four Simple Principles.
These principles keep me on course and facilitate every business and social interaction I have. This week’s principle is below.
Principle 2: Make Partners
If you don’t share, no one can help you. It’s that simple. If you don’t enlist your colleagues, business associates, family and friends in your goals, they can’t support you in your mission.
In any interaction, there are always two sides: a buyer and a seller. All parties are there because at some level they want the transaction to occur. Find the common ground and engage the others in seeing the mutual benefit. Once all parties have ownership of the outcome, they will want a positive result. From that common ground, you can all work toward the same outcome – if you make them your partners.
If you missed my preview posts, get caught up here, Principle 1: Tell the Truth.
Marilyn Tam, Guest Blogger
View more posts by SCORE’s Guest Bloggers
Add comment June 19, 2009
Leadership: Principle 1 – Tell the Truth
In Work as in Life, I Live by Four Simple Principles.
These principles keep me on course and facilitate every business and social interaction I have. They free me to be creative and productive. They enable me to see and take advantage of opportunities. They are the first thing I share with my management team in every company I manage and form the basis of our working relationship. When the team follows these practical principles, the flow of communication is smooth; productivity and morale are high.
These four simple principles are the most powerful, readily adoptable tool I’ve used in my career and in my life. I want to share them with you over the course of the next month. Check back every Friday to learn more about each guiding principle.
Principle 1: Tell the Truth All the Time
It’s less confusing. You don’t have to remember what you said and to whom. And you won’t trip over conflicting remarks. This one is very basic and also very hard to do at times. Oftentimes, we say what we think others want to hear to keep them happy. When the truth comes out later, everyone is unhappy. More importantly, there is less time to fix whatever you were afraid to say in the first place.
Telling the truth all the time keeps your mind clear of the clutter and reduces the stress of having to remember the various versions of the “truth.” Whatever problem you’re trying to avoid will be resolved much sooner if you tell the truth and deal with it immediately. Letting the skeletons multiply in the closet only makes things worse.
The reach of technology today means that sooner or later, whether it is deleted computer files or missed financial payments, the truth will come out. Deal with the issue when it appears and you’ll not only sleep better, but you’ll learn more quickly and ensure that you keep moving forward.
Marilyn Tam, Guest Blogger
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1 comment June 12, 2009
Life Balance: Follow Your Small Business Passion
To achieve wellness, life balance and business success, you have to know what you really want. In our society, we are told from a very young age what we are supposed to want–our own inner voice is muted by the relentless messages from people and the media that tell us what to desire. To be happy, healthy and successful you need to be connected with your own life mission.
Take the time to quiet the outside voices. Journal, meditate, spend time in nature and listen for that internal wisdom and longing that has been there all along. Reflect on what makes you truly happy and content, what quiets down the nattering “should, ought tos, and musts” that bombard you from every direction. Determine your life purpose; explore what your life means to you.
Use your mission to guide you to the work and life balance, which will help you attain what you most value. When you are working toward your life purpose you are motivated, energized and able to deal with the inevitable obstacles we all encounter in life. You will be persuasive and inspirational since you will be speaking and operating from your heart. Be alert to the feedback you are getting and adjust if needed. And most importantly I’ve learned – What’s inside of each of us is powerful enough to help us achieve anything we want.
Marilyn Tam, Guest Blogger
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5 comments June 5, 2009
Work/Life Balance: Managing Working Mommy Guilt
All women who have kids and work outside of the home have guilt. Period. This is not an opinion or an assumption. It is a reality. Something happens to you when you give birth and you forever feel that responsibility and that tie to your child. So when you go to work, and leave that child behind, there is an incredible amount of guilt that goes with it. Even if you have no choice and must work, and maybe more so if you have a choice.
I think the hardest thing to reconcile is the personal need and personal self-worth that that women get at work vs. the need to provide for your children every moment of everyday. At this point in our society, not only is it ok to be a dad and a working man, but it is the expected path. Somehow though, many people still feel that women should be home with the children and that going to work is somehow putting kids second.
So how do you reconcile it? How do you get beyond the “Mommy Guilt” and feel good & proud of your choices? I wish that I had all the answers, but I don’t. At the very least, I can share what has worked for me:
5 comments May 22, 2009
Work/Life Balance: Business Travel and Kids – Do They Mix?
I often get asked how I manage to juggle my life as a mommy and my life as a CEO. People assume that I give up a lot of time with my children, especially since they know that I travel quite a bit. What a lot of people in my business life don’t know is that when I travel, whether for business or pleasure, I take my kids with me. Yup, you heard me. I take them with me.
So how do I do this and still manage to do business? I put in a lot of hard work and definitely a good amount of out-of-pocket money. Since my two kids were born (ages 2 and 4), I have arranged business travel to coincide with:
1. My husband being able to come
2. My mother being able to come
3. My mother-in-law being able to come
4. One of my sisters, or sister-in-law being able to come
You see the pattern. I travel enough that I use mileage to bring along family members. When my kids were under 9 months old I didn’t buy them seats and just brought them with me. After 9 months though traveling with a 20+ pound child on your lap can be ridiculous – so I started buying seats for the kids, and they started building miles that they can share with family members to get them to come along.
Once I get to the location, I don’t stay at hotels. I use short-term rentals which usually are the same price as a hotel room – but come with a full kitchen and generally two bedrooms. Because the cost is equal to what I would spend on my own in a hotel room, the company picks up the tab for the rental. My family member who accompanies me is comfortable and we all have access to a kitchen to make easy meals for the kids and not have to go out to restaurants. It works and the kids get the benefit of time with an extended family member. (more…)
6 comments May 15, 2009
Work/Life Balance: Keeping Your Personal & Professional Networks Separate
Recently I have realized that I get more Facebook requests than LinkedIn requests. A lot of the Facebook friend requests that I have been getting are from colleagues and business contacts. It’s the type of requests that I used to get through LinkedIn all the time.
Initially I struggled with how to handle the Facebooks requests and whether I should connect to all these business contacts through Facebook. For a long time my Facebook friend requests continued to grow and grow while I debated how to use these two separate systems. I did not want to lose the networking ability you get by connecting to people through these systems, but I did want to have a place to connect with friends and family, which was separated from my work.
Finally I have come up with a solution that has worked really well for me and has let me enjoy Facebook while still allowing me to continue to connect with a powerful business network. When a business person asks to be my friend on Facebook, I simply ignore their request on Facebook, but send them a request through LinkedIn. I usually add a message that says:
(more…)
2 comments May 8, 2009
Life Balance: Work/Life Is A Balancing Act
Recently I was asked to talk to a group of college seniors about pursuing careers in business after they graduate. Looking out at 50+ young, fresh faced seniors made me realize how far I have come since I graduated, and how much my outlook on working and life have changed. I remember being a senior, and thinking that I was going to do it all. I was going to have a fabulous, exciting career, and a husband, and kids. I never once thought about what it would actually take to make all of that happen.
(more…)
6 comments May 1, 2009
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